May




	MAY 2004 01/05/2004 - Job Done Weather: Rain/Cloudy I have been praised quite a lot today and also earned a fair bit of Respect (as well as Â£20)! I finished fixing someones PC last night and was working into the early hours. I have made that persons day so I keep being told. It's humbling to think that I can do that sorta thing and shows it's only natural for me to move into that career path I think. Though, it was easy! Oops, gotta tidy up! I have a guest coming around later! (in about 50 minutes to 1hr 20mins). I gotta go! Simon 03/05/2004 - May Day Weather: Cloudy/Sunny I didn't write anything yesterday because me and my boyfriend went to Weston for the day. It was nice, sunny, a lot of food and like the last time I was down there, Boring. Though we did go paddling in the sea and I discovered those "worms" made by cockles burying themselves in the sand, and therefore, is actually worm shaped Sand. Worms don't live on the beach (thanks for not telling me!). Weston just doesen't have much variety, that's it's problem! And here I am, bored again! Haven't done much today. Just installed MSN Messenger 6.2 and it seems to be exactly the same as 6.1, only no there is a little yellow man for contacts that are Mobile. Oh yeah, haven't had a ciggarette in 2 days. Simon 04/05/2004 - o2 Weather: Rain/Sunny My boyfried has goe home ow, I do't think I will see him for a while as he is going to Surrey to see his family. I also got a ew mobile today. ow I'm on o2 so my number has changed, dunno what it is though :S. I have been looking through old messages on Gaydar and looking back at their profiles wondering what they're doing now, only to discover they have removed themselves. Oh well. This blog has been quite useful, been looking through the archive myself and now know when I got sky and my Laptop. Howw does it help? Well now I know when my contract end and when I'm free to move on :) I've also decided that I will continue the blog, just decided on a few principles to go by to make life easy. Notice that I haven't mentioned my mood? That's because it caused me problems, and notice how quite recently I'm not going into too much depth about my emotions? That's because if I use this to let off steam, people will get a bit annoyed with me. Of course, they will get pissed with me because of what I've just written. Then again, I could just keep a private diary, and a not so private one with just thoughts about stuff and not moody ones - and this is it. My Blog! Wey Hey! (Do people still use that phrase?) OH BLOODY PHONE!!!! CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!! (with energy, not at something/someone). Simon 05/05/2004 - Triple Figures Weather: Rain/Sun Today is the day my savings reached triple figures! I now have just over Â£100 saved up for driving lessons, meaning that the Fire Target in Chapter Zero of my restructuring plan is now 20% complete! Significant? I think so. I also got a call from my mobile network regarding "Text Bolt on's" and I somehow talked myself into getting that... don't really want it! But I did get my voicemail activated. Been quite busy shopping & cleaning then waiting for my mum who never seems to show up when she arranges to meet me. Kinda annoying when that happens innit? But I am very happy about getting my savings into Triple Figures, looks as if my driving lessons are coming sooner rather than later! Simon 06/05/2004 - Cream keeps falling on my head Weather: Cloudy/Sunny I found out a way to make you hair really soft. wake up in the morning, have Double Elmlea fall out of the fridge and splatter all over your hair, take a shower then wash your hair with L'Oreal Elvive and voila, soft, shiny hair! Why? Cos gravity can be a pain! Otherwise not a lot happened today. Simon 07/05/2004 - New Shoes? OOOOHHH!! Weather: Sunny This morning I woke up with my mum almost running me over excited that she got post and that a courier had left my order from Voodoo shoes.com by the door. At last! A pair of shoes that are Comfortable! I've also been measuring my hair. It will take about 2 years to grow to the length I want it to be. Less than I thought! My boyfriend is off to see his family in Surrey later on. I'm gonna miss him to be honest. But I will see him on Monday (10/05/2004) Simon 08/05/2004 - Over Weather: Cloudy/Rain I've been rather bored for a while now. April was a really busy & fun month for me. May is... Normal... too normal! October last year was also kinda good as I was redecorating my room so I always had something to do. And my money is drying up so getting a Job does sound good doesen't it? But I already have one, I'm a carer. And carers get paid peanuts! Done some DIY in the Bathroom (make of that what you will) and did some washing and that's my Saturday pretty much wasted as usual. Ginger is sleeping on my bed and can't get the passion of gay hentai of my mind! Soooo HOT!! Simon 09/05/2004 - LAAA LAAA LAA LAAAAA LAA LAA LAA LALA Weather: Cloudy Something might be happening to this Website soon. That's all I'm gonna say about that large graphic that has appeared on the homepage. I'm bored again, but tomorrow I'm seeing my Boyfriend which will be nice. Actually, I'm quite looking forward to seeing him again! Not had that much to do today. I probably should tidy my room up again for tomorrow, speaking of which, my mum goes away again for one of her weeks away so street party time I think! Bit tired of her playing practical Jokes on people living nearby. Simon 10/05/2004 - Secret Agenda Revealed! Weather: Cloudy SWV2? Means that I'm redesigning my website with a brand new look and some things have a new name. It's gonna be called Simon's Website: Version 2.0 because my website is nearly 1 year old! So for it's birthday it's gonna get a new look. Should be faster loading too. I've revealed that secret so soon because this is probably the only opportunity I have to write in this thing today as I may be too... distracted... hehe Simon 11/05/2004 - 1 Month on Weather: Cloudy/Sunny/Thunder & Lightning Simon & Paul. Oneanothers boyfriends have been together for a month today. And all day I've been feeling weird. I dunno why. My boyfriend has been mothering me again, wants me to eat a "proper" meal, but of what benefit will that be? Hmm... this is strange, nothing quite the same as usual once again... for a while. Earlier Paul said that I never think about myself and am always thinking of others... is it true? I find that statement confusing because of the wai I was treated back in March 2003, before I turned 18, by my ex GP, he said I was a selfish little brat. So, whom do I believe? Am I truly selfless or am I really a little brat who has continued that trend into his Adulthood? I really don't know... Simon 12/05/2004 - ARGH I can't Believe it! Weather: Cloudy I'm bored. So I doodled. Anime Style. Well, I attempted to anyway. My boyfriend has been playing the domesticated God all morning, he means well, it's nice of him and he's doing a pretty good Job (Though nobody asked him to do it... maybe he's bored too!) I blame my boredom partially on living in Yate. He's cooking Chicken and it smells rather nice to me. I went to the Doctors last night because I have an abscess on my face. Got some antibiotics for that. Tum te tum... this is fun... Simon 13/05/2004 - That Internet Weather: Cloudy This website only exists as something for me to do, to while away the boredom, to make my mark on the Internet as I have been here online for 5 years. Come to think of it, the Internet has played a dramatic role in my life, it's helped me and it's deconstructed me. I've meade friends through the net, I've had 2 boyfriends through the net, I've beomce closer to my passions through the net, but all evil come through the fingertips. It's also the Venue where I expressed my ideas, feelings & opinions, and got flamed for it. It's also the place where I discovered that people are often very nasty, and not worth knowing, and I hoped that maybe I was wrong... and I still do. Simon 14/05/2004 - Magic Computer Weather: Cloudy/Sunny Not done anything today. I woke up alone and have been alone all day. So quiet. Got a phone call from my mum, she says she wants a new mobile because hers isn't too good. My boyfriend sent me a text message saying that plans we had for Tonight are off because he has to work late. So maybe some other time. Looks as if I'm gonna be alone again tonight. The redesign is still going well. I think it looks better. Bit more clean cut and simple but the graphical text is still there, though it has changed. Simon 16/05/2004 - Silence Weather: Sunny Well, my boyfriend maybe seeing me later on. I have tidied up and have decided to tkae the risk of cooking for 2 when it's certain that only 1 will be there. Also my mum is coming home tomorrow therefore ending the silence. And for the first time, I'm glad the silence will be gone because it's boring and means I can only think about what I gotta do and I would do it but I'm doing all I can at the moment. My estimates show that I will be finished saving up for my driving tuition February 2005 so that maybe when Chapter Zero ends and Chapter One begins. Shame I can't spend the money how I want, as it's actually got a Goal... Oh well, I've done it before and I now regret it! Simon 17/05/2004 - Danger Weather: Sunny Today is the day my week of Silence will end. The wakward atmosphere between one and ones partner will vanish (probably) and to celebrate, Chinese Food. Maybe a little bit melodaramtic but my entries can be right? My boyfriend did turn up last night, and he's doing it again tonight. He was late, his bus broke down somewhere. It would only move backwards apparently which is rather useless! Well, it's ended. She's just this moment arrived home. Well... what a week that was! Since my mum has got home, the difficulty in our relationship has become clear. I can only become open when I'm drunk. And according to my mum, my boyfriend is considering dumping me because I can'tr open up to him, no matter how hard I try... So there you have it. I am NOT relationship material. I can't sustain a relationship and that is why I have decided not to enter one ever again. Simon 18/05/2004 - Just a Fantasy Weather: Sunny Me and my boyfriend are fine now. But how long will it be before I find myself hurt again? Why do I find relationships so difficult? Is it because of our starsigns being generally incompatible? I guess I really am wandering in denial, hoping in vain optimism that this relationship can be good. But my guess it's only one way. I just can't sustain a relationship. Maybe my fate is to be single, which wouldn't be such a bad thing... why should it be? 19/05/2004 - Ouchy... Weather: Sunny :) I've not been terribly well today. I woke up with stomach cramps then diareah. Lovely. Just been running a few errands, been writing out some kinda form for my mum, and tomorrow I am off to London with my boyfriend who I kinda feel sorry for... Maybe I'm being far too cold towards him. I don't intend on being like that. He's a nice person and I will keep saying that cos I know that much is true. I have also finished redesigning my Website! Well... almost... I'd say it's pretty much done! Simon 21/05/2004 - Withdrawal Symptoms Weather: Cloudy/Sunny I enjoyed myself in London yesterday. So did my boyfriend. I climbed the Monument, crossed London Bridge, visted China Town, ate in Piccadilly, looked around in a few shops and went to Trafalger Square! I didn't get drunk in London, but back here in Bristol, and I think I smashed a glass at the pub... Well, I locked my boyfriend out of his place this morning so he has to come round tonight... but he hasn't turned up so far to get his key back... what do I do? I think he knows he has to come round here... I hope he's ok... I miss London. I really enjoyed myself yesterday, and I can't help but wonder if this is the last time I will ever see my birthplace... London... Simon 22/05/2004 - Bah Weather: Sunny Well, not a lot to say today. My boyfriend turned up, he's fine. No need for me to worry about him after all which was good. I will see him tomorrow, I wonder what we will do... he did say something about a drag queen though tomorrow night... Simon 23/05/2004 - Super 19 Weather: Sunny I certainly have a lot of ointments lying around. Things like Athletes foot cream and E45. Such a typical Pisces aren't I? Always got some kinda health complaint. Some girl said she liked my clothes, not the usual compliment I get but it was nice to hear something different for a change. Paul is coming round later and I'm cooking again, How... feminine? Then again, this is the 21st century, if women can be mechanics, why can't I cook for my mum and boyfriend? Gonna try and pack the fags too (ciggarette kind - not derrogatory homosexual as that would be Ironic). Then again, being gay isn't fantastic and we are not Supermen like someone said in a forum once! Simon 24/05/2004 - Do I or don't I? Weather: Sunny This is not a good day. I had an argument with Paul and he does not respect me one bit. I will never have a relationship with anyone ever again when this one finally collpases and I'm free again. I've decided that I want to be Single when it does collapse because right now I cannot see a future in our relationship. He condemned me as selfish, lazy and I have fallen out of love with him. I'm quite hurt... will I ever be happy again?... the weather is very inappropriate. Simon 25/05/2004 - Let's pretend it was a happy end Weather: Partially Sunny Guess what? I'm Single. Me and Paul are no longer together and that is that. We have gone our seperate ways because we are 2 totally different people, and even if I did give it 50/50 like he kept demanding, I still wouldn't be happy. So I decided maybe it was for the best. Just because I am single does not mean I am looking though. For the sake of mankind I will not be seeking another relationship. You don't want to be in a relationship with me. It would be hell on earth. Today isn't a new begginning, it's Tuesday. I've been putting on a brave face all day. I've been thinking on and off about the times we had all day and have resorted to comfort eating but I am human. I'm sorry that it didn't work out... I kinda feel like I don't have anywhere to turn. My so called friends aren't really helping... It's times like these I wish I could lead someone elses life whilst mine is in repair, but I have to keep looking forwards into the Future and beyond, I can't loose my dream or else I am truly done for. Simon 26/05/2004 - Iâ€™m movinâ€™ on without you Weather: Cloudy/Rain Well thatâ€™s our summer over. I have been trying to deny that anything ever happened so today I went to see Kill Bill Vol.2 with mother dearest and we went to TGI Fridays and I paid for the meal. So... am I selfish? I wish I knew for sure. Iâ€™m gonna end this entry here because Iâ€™m quite tired. Simon 28/05/2004 - Channel 4â€™s Black Friday Weather: Rain Sorry I didnâ€™t write anything yesterday, forgot! Then again, didnâ€™t really have anything to write! I still have cleaning up to do in my room, wanna clean out anything to do with my ex cos I think I was on the right train of thought when I was considering breaking up. Iâ€™ve made a great new friend called Gary soon after. We are so alike itâ€™s uncanny! You should be able to read more about him in my friends section. Simon 29/05/2004 - Itâ€™s too late to say your Sorry Weather: Cloudy Right, today was boring. Iâ€™m going though I turned on phase once again. Kinda need sex! But once again I shall not seek it, that aint my thing ;) So... you like doing stuff? You wouldnâ€™t think you could find a map of the London Underground in Bristol would you? Iâ€™m proud of the fact I was born in London, shame noone told me that I would actually want to return! Simon 30/05/2004 - Memories of Lightwaves Weather: Sunny You know when you look back on your life? Well, mine has been quite a journey yet I still feel like my life is unfulfilled. I canâ€™t help but wonder if the steps Iâ€™m taking to make life better are ever going to work, Iâ€™m begginning to think I will never be happy in work. I think that I will get an IT Career only to discover that I donâ€™t share the same tastes in music with my future colleagues, or donâ€™t like the same TV, bars, pubs, clubs, films and other activities then again, maybe I will like some of them... what if Japan isnâ€™t what I expected it to be? What will I do then? That scenario would be crushing to say the least! Simon 31/05/2004 - The End Weather: Sunny This is the final curtain for Mayâ€™s blog and Version 1.0 of my website. Now it may not look like version 1, thatâ€™s because all the pages from v1.0 are now in v2.0. May has been a rather eventful month hasnâ€™t it? In about 9 months time I will be undergoing some transformations and it may even be less than 9 months time. Iâ€™m begginning to wonder if Iâ€™m starting a little late, Iâ€™ve never had a conventional job at Burger King in my mid teens now have I, therefore, Iâ€™ve never had a job reference which will make things difficult. But onwards and upwards! Ode to Version 1.0 - That was just the beginning, and now itâ€™s finishing. I know I will keep changing, along with this website. Project Ronin is my story... and itâ€™s gonna be a good one :D Simon