June

Jeez I had a fun weekend! (not). The entire broadband side of the exchange was down and I couldn’t go online so apologies to those whom I may have been chatting to if I suddenly disappeared, it was out of my hands!

And things have really been this great for a little while now, the power supply unit on my PC had enough and stopped powering my PC so but I got a replacement this morning and am back. I also begun my new college course yesterday! Next Steps in IT for a NCFE Level 2 certificate for IT users is what I’m working towards this time. It’s based online and you can join in too just by going to the links section of my site and clicking on the vision2learn link. The courses are free for EVERYONE! Free advertising out of the way and my health has improved in part. And the weather is getting better too. I’m going back to the doctors and I think I should stick with my meds as I’m getting a bit overwhelmed by college as I’m not all that settled into it yet and it seems rather different from my last course. Theres less structure and more room for error this time so I gotta be careful not to mess it up. But I really do like being a student as I feel it gives me purpose. Something to strive towards ya know?

Hooray! Simon’s Website is now 3 years old! I know it’s spent a lot of time abandoned over the last three years and it hasn’t always been at the same place but it’s always been online and it’s still around. I won’t make any promises to keep it going mind.

So, how am I? Well I’ve been doing some college stuff, drinking, spending too much, trying to roll up cigarettes and caught my fingers in the fan. The weather has also been really nice and it’s going to be nice on Saturday also which is great because I’m going to a wedding on Saturday. Details of how that went shall be here, on the blog. Big Brother has become boring, ER ended on a real cliff hanger, my Jpop collection is going stale, my room needs cleaning…

Yesterday I attended a wedding of Gemma’s mum and it was a very nice ceremony. It was a very warm, sunny day in June and it was also her 50^th Birthday. So you would think that the wedding guests would stick around wouldn’t you? But no, they didn’t. I think that was quite a shame as the bride thought this would continue well into the night but it didn’t. A lot of people left because they didn’t like the look of it even though A LOT of effort was put into the preparations and I thought that was a bit sick and very ungrateful of them. So they ended up going to a pub in the middle of nowhere that both the bride and groom enjoyed and even though I was invited along, I couldn’t afford it so we took some of the booze back to mine (me and Gemma) courtesy of Mrs Arnold and we ended up leaving them both alone to enjoy eachothers company. Looking back on that, I think that was probably a wise decision anyway… They never really got any alone time.

Gemma also mentioned that the super club in Bristol, Oceana, has a Japanese bar… which plays Japanese music and it sounds really amazing and I really want to go there someday. Might be an idea to save up for that and go wild!

Freudian Inventory Results

Oral (40%) you appear to have a good balance of independence and interdependence knowing when to accept help and when to do things on your own.
Anal (53%) you appear to have a good balance of self control and spontaneity, order and chaos, variety and selectivity.
Phallic (40%) you appear to have a good balance of sexual awareness and sexual composure.
Latency (63%) you appear to be afraid or averse to present or future real world responsibilities, this will only make your inevitable transition more difficult, so learn to deal with the real world.
Genital (46%) you appear to be somewhere between a progressive/openminded and regressive/closeminded outlook on life.

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Mum’s gone away on respite, did some grocery shopping, watched TV and now I’m sat here bored with a glass of wine listening to a Japanese boy band called Exile. I was also told that I was an important element to Kagoul, an online gay community. That caught me by surprise and I also bumped into an acquaintance from college who had the same idea as me. I’m just bored really… impulse purchase of the week? Why a Bonsai tree of course! Actually it quite suits my room making it look more oriental. I’ve no idea how old it is (possibly 12 – 14 years old) but it originates from Guangdong Province, China. I propose Mr paperclip that I get absolutely hammered until someone wants to talk to me.

I created my own philosophy on life today.

Have you ever noticed when you walk down a path to the corner shop that it tends to be uneven? How sometimes you come to a road junction and you need to take precautions, how you get little dips that go down but then back up again? Sometimes there long, sometimes there short. Theres all sorts of obstacles, sometimes ya might get asked a simple question by a complete stranger such as what the time is or you might bump into an old friend who has a dilemma. Sometimes you might have to go onto a sectionedoff part of the road with a sign with an arrow telling pedestrians to go take an alternative route...

Then you reach the shop, ya buy the paper, ya read about what else has been going on the world and whatever else ya need... and then ya go back to where ya originally started.

Bit like Life really....

I’ve been finding people comments a bit hard not to take too personally lately. And now I’m just feeling really bad about myself. I had Nick say I eat too much, the bank telling me to get a job and my vocational therapist & CPN talk to my mum’s social worker about the state of the bathroom. So how has this left me? Well I don’t bathrooms anymore and to be honest, haven’t done for a while… There like an arena of humiliation for me. I also feel guilty sometimes for being human and eating. I also don’t like being naked because of body image issues and thats also why I don’t like being naked. And I don’t like sex because my first experience had all the neighbours around, looking through my computer at my private files and even the police questioning my sexuality and was even branded a paedophile.

I’m having a bad enough time as it is so just don’t add on to it please... I’ve already taken drastic action by no longer being a part of the gay community and I’m hoping to replace that with the Bristol Japan club aswell as Wakyama Tokyo at Oceana.