JULY 2006
06/07/2006
Which Ayumi Hamasaki song are you?
Well I took another one of those silly little online quizzes and here are my results:
You're 'A Song for XX'
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I would say thats quite correct actually...
08/07/2006
My P.O.V: Grave of the Fireflies
"September 21, 1945...That was the night I died."—Seita
And so begins the most heartbreaking and powerful anti war film I have seen in my life. Someone once said that if someone watched this and someone commented that if you ever see someone who isn't moved (usually to tears) by this movie, you've found someone without a soul. I would strongly agree with this as anyone whom is human would be absolutely moved to tears. We have here a story of a 14 year old boy (Seita) who loses his mother in a firebombing during World War 2. He then has to take care of his 4 year old sister (Setsuko). While at first they're taken in by his aunt the relationship between him and his aunt takes a turn for the worst. He then ends up on the street and the struggle begins... It doesn't take a genius to figure out that things get really depressing. Setsuko is absolutely adorable and she just makes you want to grab her from the screen and cuddle her so much. Yes, she is animated but even so you just don’t want the character to suffer as she is merely 4 years old and can’t really understand what’s going on. What makes it worse is that this is actually all based on a semi-autobiography so therefore, the story is true. Although “Seita” didn’t actually die, his sister really did die from the conditions of war. This was Akiyuki Nosaka’s way of trying to overcome his sister’s death which he blames entirely on himself. I was moved to tears, and I still feel that way about this story simply because it’s just so tragic. PLEASE buy it or rent it out on DVD, it would be money well spent as this film is guaranteed to be touching and may even broaden your horizons in the process.
12/07/2006
Mr Blue Sky
First it was VERY hot and sunny, then it began to rain a lot (at first everyone was thankful) and now it’s heating up again. Which is just as well because I am throwing a BBQ party on Saturday (the 15th) and so I shall update you all on how that goes although I will see most of you there!
It’s been a dull few days although HSBC have pissed me off even more and I owe even more money now. I am trying to do something but my view on banks still stands that there all just money greedy pigs who should all be culled nationwide and eaten for Sunday lunch so don’t forget the apple sauce. Even the people who advertise banks look like snobs. Anyway, I think internet humour is dreadful… really crap. And staff who work in Iceland seem really friendly. Can’t think of much else to say except enjoy the sunshine and I’ll see some of you on Saturday.
Peace out
25/07/2006
Mr Blue Sky ~ episode 2 ~
It’s been very hot and the temperatures have made new records and even the petrol prices have risen as well as tensions worldwide. There’s a war between Israel & Lebanon which has caused an emergency evacuation of all British citizens from Lebanon to Cyprus where they can make there way home. Everyone is stressed out including me. I just can’t take the heat of the weather and being a carer. For a while now I’ve been just sitting at home, feeling ill and sick n tired of running around after my mum, financially supporting her, tired of the bank, tired of efforts I’ve had to make and I really miss the way of life I discovered at college and the doors it opened up. I know I’m getting stronger all the time as I keep being told but deep down, there’s something people don’t see but something I feel. I feel lost... I am lost. Ok, so the BBQ party went rather well and everyone enjoyed it and I built a computer successfully the other day… and I’d like to be doing that more often. If I could just cease my role as a carer and move on to pursue a career in IT engineering then I’d be happy. I have a meeting on the 3rd of August and I’m very much dreading it. Really don’t want it to happen at all because not only will my CPN and OT be there, so will my mum’s care manager and it’s gonna be really messy. It’s meant to be another carers assessment but I just don’t wanna know, I already know what they think about me behind my back as the other day my mum was having a meeting and I over heard what was being said. They were saying I need to take the consequences of my own actions because I wrote a letter to my MP as my mum’s carers refused to empty her commode. There reasons were because I hadn’t kept the toilet clean and that there were “bodily fluids” in there and I was rather humiliated when that was being said. When I told Nick he wasn’t happy as he claims he’s never seen such things. With both sides clashing it feels like my support network is going to collapse soon… But I think it’s time I took matters into my own hands. Take control of my own life and in September, start afresh with college and the Bristol Japan Club and see how it all goes from there.
28/07/2006
Pigs
Banks. I absolutely cannot stand them AT ALL! I just hate money and the misery it seems to bring and yet its every banks staple diet. The worse part is that if I really do go ahead with my business idea then I will be reliant on them. I hate them mostly because they make my blood boil and disgust me due to there low moral. They just really couldn’t care less and I applaud all who take them to court! Anger and misery have generally ruled my life in recent times and as a result, my thinking has become more negative, resentful, sarcastic and flippant. So I’m declaring next week my holiday as my mum is off to respite and I’m gonna go out on that weekend. I’m gonna discuss it more with a friend of mine first but that’s what I’d like to do cos I have been indoors mostly lately. Also I hope to resume college in September properly still. Just not been happy recently at all. I do want things to change but I just can’t see it happening. This really is my summer of discontent... Again. Part of the problem is generated from my mum I think. She just doesn’t understand much of anything and all she worries about is food and she didn’t take my advice when it really mattered, she didn’t listen to my warning and it’s happened. I kep warning her that my college would fall into jeopardy and it happened. I kept warning her that her finances would get sticky and it happened. I keep warning her but it fall on deaf ears and this does affect my self esteem as I jusy keep feeling that my views and opinions just don’t matter. And that is obviously true because there is evidence to suggest so and that evidence is above. Nobody listens to me and thats is why I don’t bother helping people sometimes. It’s not my help they want.
